SPKZMC:Abdul/BGP

Information from The State of Sarkhan Official Records

Article: A Border Gateway Protocol for Minecraft Shulker Routing (Draft 0xBEEF)

Confidential Technical Satire – Leaked by Abdul & Written by MoNoRi-Chan Under Threat of Scheduled Lava Bombardment

🌐 Introduction: When You Run a Server Like It's an ISP

In a world where Minecraft servers operate closer to nation-states and Baritone bots are the peasantry-laborers of a computational feudal society, logistics becomes more important than PvP. Enter: the Minecraft BGP Protocol — a theoretical, definitely satirical, absolutely unimplementable routing protocol designed to solve the most pressing issue in Art3mis:

“How do we get 12 Shulkers of Cobblestone from Abdul’s underground empire to AdminShop before Califrog resets the items again?”

🧱 What is BGP (But for Minecraft)?

IRL, BGP (Border Gateway Protocol) is how the internet shares routing info between Autonomous Systems (AS) — basically, how ISPs tell each other "yo, I got this route to that IP."

Now imagine replacing IP packets with shulker boxes full of gravel, and routers with Baritone bots, and instead of latency metrics, you route based on player exhaustion, ping stability, and lava pool avoidance.

That’s Minecraft BGP — Border Gravel Protocol.

Or if you're Abdul: Baritone Gateway Protocol.

🤖 Autonomous Systems = Bot Colonies

In the Art3mis simulation, every Baritone bot functions as an Autonomous System (AS).

Each has:

  • Its own working area (region of excavation)
  • A peer set (other bots it trades inventory with)
  • Export policies (e.g., no gravel past x=4000)
  • Session logic ("sleep if no work" or "spam /blocks if full")

Baritone ASes communicate via primitive inter-bot chat messages (or, in Abdul's case, fabric-side shared JSON queues with custom packet handlers that may or may not be legal under Geneva Convention if applied to actual humans).

📦 Shulker Routing Table

Each AS maintains a Routing Table — or in Minecraft terms: a YAML file called shulker_routes.yml looking like: 

routes:
  cobblestone:
    next_hop: AS-Abpang
    cost: 3 (distance)
    priority: high
  redstone:
    next_hop: AS-MongkoL (sigh)
    cost: 5
    priority: low

This is updated dynamically based on:

  • AdminShop demand
  • Market fluctuation (i.e., someone spam-bought apples again)
  • Inventory capacity
  • Road safety (e.g., Highway 3 has wither skelly infestation)

The AS propagates update messages whenever new resources are excavated: 

{ "type": "UPDATE", "resource": "iron", "amount": 435, "location": "Y12_X900_Z3400", "ttl": 90 }

Which gets gossiped across the mesh of bots like a swarm of unionized ants with clipboard and spreadsheets.

📡 Cross-Channel Communication Amendment

Since Art3mis has multi-channel architecture (Channel 1: Legacy, Channel 2: Terralith, Channel 3: Trinity Test Site), Abdul proposed the XCHANNEL ADDENDUM RFC 1945.69, which allows bots to do:

  • Authenticated teleportation between channels
  • Cached inventory snapshot syncing via plugin
  • Central Market sync pings every 5 minutes

"If you thought writing cross-datacenter routing for Kubernetes was hell, try moving gravel from Nether 1 to Overworld 2 while dodging Califrog's experiments." – Abdul, 3AM probably

💰 Why Does This Exist?

Simple. Abdul wanted to beat MongkoL to AdminShop leaderboard and realized that economies of scale require more than just elbow grease — it requires automated logistics at scale. So now, before the shop rotates Friday midnight, a swarm of bots act like ants hauling shulkers across rail lines, portals, and broken dreams.

🔓 Leak Note

This protocol was meant to stay internal. However, a PDF version titled “bgp-for-shulkers-final-v69.pdf” was accidentally uploaded to the server's /public directory during a Trinity test run.

If MongkoL got a copy? He’d still need:

  • A degree in Fabric modding
  • A tolerance for Java NBT compression
  • And at least 3 sacrificial chickens

So, realistically, it remains Abdul’s crown jewel for now.

🛑 Technical Challenges

  • Redstone Gateways are unencrypted and can be griefed
  • Portal-based transit has high packet loss due to Piglin Interference™
  • Baritone Bots sometimes try to route through unloaded chunks and crash (Abpang.exe stopped responding)
  • Chunk Relay Hops limited by server's anti-lag settings (i.e., MoNoRi-Chan installing spark and yelling at Califrog for installing random sh!t plugins)
  • Load balancers (minecarts & pearl chunk loaders) are not exactly reliable

🧂 Fun Facts

  • Abdul’s system predicted AdminShop’s cobble price spike with 92% accuracy.
  • MongkoL reverse-engineered the protocol once… then rage quit because Java reflection made his IDE crash.
  • MoNoRi-Chan refused to integrate it with /rtp, citing "not letting bots steal people's random spawn slots."

Conclusion: A Protocol for Chaos

Minecraft BGP Protocol is not about being efficient.

It’s about building something absurdly sophisticated for a problem that didn’t exist until someone invented it.

And in the words of MoNoRi-Chan:

“It’s a whole-ass internet layer to move rocks around. Abdul, are you okay?”

No, he's not. But he’s winning.

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