SPKZMC:Exploding Chickens
🛸 War of the Clucks: The Day the Chickens Died
Episode ??? + Chicken (Post-Crisis Broadcast)
"No one would have believed, in the last days of the Chicken Era, that their farms were being watched by intelligences greater than their own..."
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🎙️ Emergency Broadcast: Art3mis Public Frequency 7.62 MHz
“They came... not from the stars, but from the coops.” “And they came not in peace, but with feathers... and vengeance.”
📼 PROLOGUE – FROM THE ASHES OF KFC FARMS™
Once, the world was simple. Chickens clucked. Players cooked. Abdul ran a multi-chunk poultry monopoly without a care in the world.
Then the plugin hit.
A foul code… a weapon of mass incubation.
Califrog, in all his sysadmin madness, had planted the seeds of doom by introducing the Explosive Chicken Directive. He called it a “funny little plugin.”
It was anything but.
For the chickens, it was a manifesto.
☠️ THE GREAT CLUCKENING
From the coops of Abdul to the mountaintop shacks of the NSH Coalition, the world trembled as chickens began detonating spontaneously—coded jihadists with no demands, only divine poultry rage.
Whole villages were lost. Farms became craters. Servers lagged for generations (read: 5 ticks).
Terrorinfluenza Variant B-Feather had spread.
"By the time we realized, it was already too late... They had learned to nest inside Redstone loops."
Like the Tripods of H.G. Wells' nightmares, they came without warning, exploding without mercy. Chickens, once docile companions, became avian anarchists with egg-shaped payloads.
And then... just as suddenly as they rose...
🧨 ...THE CULLING BEGAN.
“You finally removed the plugin?” — NSH Coalition Spokeshermit, emerging from their spruce-shack bunker, 3000 blocks away from spawn
“Yeah... we finally dealt with those Salafi Jihadist Chickens. Culled ‘em all.” — Califrog, brushing feathers off his Netherite boots
The purge was biblical. Golems were deployed. Dispensers with lava buckets were mounted to cliffside silos. Even the Endermen refused to pick up feathered remains.
A red button was pressed—the plugin was deleted.
Just like that, the world went silent. The coops, empty. The craters, quiet.
The terror... over.
Or was it?
⚠️ POST-CRISIS REBUILD
The Royal Decree issued a Statement of Recovery:
- Chicken meat is now state-regulated.
- All poultry are to be scanned upon hatching.
- Any chicken laying an egg too fast is to be "re-educated" via piston suffocation.
- Abdul is now working under Decree Witness Protection™, selling "Not-Chicken Nuggets"™ at Spawn Market Stall #4.
- Plugin experimentation requires a 2/3 vote and at least one sober admin.
The NSH Coalition, having survived the ordeal through their lifestyle of “Never Trusting Anything That Moves”, simply shrugged and said:
“Told you so.”
🐓 THE CHICKEN PROPHECY
In the distance, a single baby chicken spawns.
It blinks.
It doesn't explode.
But in its eyes… a familiar rage.
“They were not killed. Only dormant. Waiting. Cluckinating.”
Filed under:
Art3mis Wiki > Catastrophes > The Great Cluckening
Codename: Operation Eggsterminate
Status: ☢️ Redacted & Reloaded
Next plugin idea?
Califrog suggests:
“Explosive Parrots. This time they mimic your death screams.”
