Adulting
The Struggle of Adulting: A Long, Hard, and Unforgiving Process
This article talks about adulting—that mythical phase of life sold to us as the ultimate freedom but delivered with a side of existential dread. If you thought life was a simple linear progression from high school graduation to happily-ever-after, buckle up. Adulting is not a journey; it’s a trial by fire. And while the process builds character, it also comes with an assortment of random debuffs that no one signed up for.
Let’s explore the arduous journey of adulting, its unforgiving challenges, the critical skills required to survive, and the sneaky toll it takes on your life (and video game backlog).
Core Skills of Adulting (No One Prepared Us For)
- Tax Preparation (a.k.a. the Yearly Panic Attack) Nobody told you that becoming an adult meant having to decode cryptic forms with names like W-2, 1099, and 1040EZ. Even worse, the IRS doesn't care about your ignorance. Knowing how to prepare taxes—or at least how to not get audited—is one of the essential skills for survival.
- Miss a deduction? You overpay.
- Misreport income? Hello, penalties. The lesson here? Invest in TurboTax or make friends with someone who understands the dark arts of accounting.
- Money Management (or Why Paychecks Vanish) Managing your finances is the cornerstone of adulting. You’ll learn to budget, save, and invest—often through a series of expensive mistakes.
- Overspent on a concert ticket? That’s your groceries for the week.
- Forgot to pay your credit card bill? Enjoy the interest, courtesy of capitalism. Money management is less about getting rich and more about figuring out how not to stay broke.
- Networking (a.k.a. Forced Socializing) Networking is critical whether you're climbing the corporate ladder or simply trying to secure a decent job. Unfortunately, this means pretending to enjoy office small talk and LinkedIn posts like, “Feeling blessed to announce my new role as Assistant to the Regional Manager!” Networking isn't just about career opportunities; it’s also about survival. Friends who know plumbers, electricians, or tax preparers can save your sanity.
- Parenting (Optional DLC, High Difficulty) If you thought adulting was hard, try parenting. It’s like playing a game where the stakes are your child’s future, and the save function is permanently disabled. Parenting teaches patience, multi-tasking, and how to function on four hours of sleep. But hey, it’s optional—unless life surprises you with an unplanned expansion pack.
The Random Debuffs You Get at Age 25
As if the responsibilities weren’t enough, adulthood hits you with a selection of physical and mental debuffs that seem to materialize out of thin air.
- Back Pain: One day, you’re fine. The next, bending over to pick up your socks feels like an Olympic event.
- Farsightedness: Suddenly, menus and phone screens start mocking you with their tiny fonts. Congratulations, you’re becoming a “reading glasses person”.
- Metabolism Slowdown: Remember when you could eat an entire pizza without consequences? Those days are over.
- The Existential Crisis: Why am I here? Am I doing enough? Should I buy a house or just cry in my car?
These debuffs are random, cruel, and untradeable. You just have to learn to cope.
The Side Effects of Adulting
- The Retail Debuff Working retail introduces you to a unique kind of exhaustion that even energy drinks can’t cure. After eight hours of dealing with irate customers, corporate micromanagement, and endless standing, the last thing you want to do is boot up a game of Elden Ring. Video games—once your greatest escape—become another chore. They require energy, focus, and sometimes emotional resilience, which you’ve already spent dealing with Karen and her expired coupons.
- Loss of Joy in Hobbies
The grind of adulting often saps the joy out of once-beloved hobbies. Whether it’s gaming, painting, or binge-watching TV shows, everything feels less satisfying when your brain is occupied by grocery lists and unpaid bills.
- Emotional Fatigue Adulting brings a unique exhaustion where you can’t even muster the energy to scroll social media. You’ll often spend your evenings staring blankly at Netflix, watching shows you barely care about because choosing something new feels like too much work.
How to Survive Adulting Without Losing Your Mind
While adulting may feel like an endless boss battle, there are ways to soften the blow:
- Learn to Delegate: Hire help for taxes, home repairs, or meal prep if you can afford it. Delegating doesn’t make you lazy; it makes you efficient.
- Budget for Joy: Set aside money and time for things that make you happy, whether it’s a vacation, a new game, or a dinner out.
- Embrace the Chaos: No one has adulting figured out. You’re not failing; you’re just living the experience.
- Build a Support Network: Friends who understand your struggles and share their own survival hacks can make all the difference.
Final Thoughts
Adulting is undeniably long, hard, and unforgiving. It’s a process full of random debuffs, endless responsibilities, and a constant balancing act of work and play. But here’s the thing: no one is perfect at adulting, and everyone’s winging it.
So whether you’re mastering taxes, battling the retail debuff, or just trying to enjoy a video game after work, remember: surviving adulthood isn’t about winning—it’s about keeping your head above water and finding small moments of joy amidst the chaos.
And if all else fails, you can always reminisce about the good ol' days when your biggest problem was deciding what game to play after school.
