Token
Launching Your Own Token: How to Absolutely Nuke Your Self-Worth and Dignity to Zero (feat. Blockchain)
Ah yes, launching your own token—a surefire way to go from "influencer" to "scammer" in record time. In the past few years, we’ve witnessed countless influencers dive headfirst into the "Crypto Casino", thinking they’re the next Satoshi Nakamoto. Spoiler alert: they’re not. Instead of revolutionizing finance, they just speedrun the grift-to-oblivion pipeline.
Step 1: Be Famous (or at Least Loud)
If you’re going to launch a token, you need hype. And nothing generates hype like having a massive audience of people who don’t understand crypto but have money to burn. Celebrities, OnlyFans models, Twitch streamers, YouTubers, and professional scam artists—all perfect candidates for a pump-and-dump.
You don't need an actual product or use case. You just need:
- A viral moment (Hawk Tuah? Perfect.)
- A loyal audience that blindly follows you.
- A catchy name and ticker that makes zero sense but sounds like an inside joke.
Step 2: Launch a Token, But Make It Look Like a Movement
This is where the real scamming starts. You can’t just say, “Hey, I’m launching a meme coin because I want money.” No, no, no. That’s too honest. Instead, you need to make it seem like a revolution.
Buzzwords to include in your announcement:
✅ "Community-driven."
✅ "Not financial advice, but..."
✅ "We're all gonna make it."
✅ "This isn't just a token, it's a lifestyle."
✅ "A movement for the people."
At this point, you’ve successfully manipulated your audience into believing they’re part of history. Even though, deep down, they’re just exit liquidity.
Step 3: The "Sleeping Beauty" Rug Pull
This is where things get fun. After launching your token and hyping it to the moon, all you have to do is disappear.
Enter Hawk Tuah Girl’s legendary strategy:
- Launch $HAWK.
- Let the Crypto Twitter gamblers send the market cap to $500 million.
- Casually says "Goodnight" to the live audience.
- Wake up to find the market cap at $7.64 million because you are the utility—and the moment you left, the token died.
A rug pull without even trying. Beautiful.
Step 4: The Inevitable Backlash (aka "Oops, I Didn’t Know!")
Once your token crashes, you must pretend you didn’t see it coming.
- “I had no idea this would happen!”
- “I was just experimenting!”
- “Crypto is a dangerous game, guys.”
- "I'm NOT a financial advisor!"
Meanwhile, the people who bought your token at its peak are now broke, and the only thing more worthless than your coin is your reputation (which, let’s be real, was questionable to begin with).
Even Andrew Tate Fell for It
Now, you’d think someone like Andrew Tate, self-proclaimed Hustler of the Century, would be too smart to launch a meme coin, right? WRONG. The man who called crypto a scam and full of grifters… launched $DADDY anyway.
His excuse? “I only launched a token to mess with Crypto Twitter.” Oh sure, buddy. The man who built an empire by monetizing his audience’s blind loyalty decided to “troll” by doing exactly what he accused others of doing.
Why MoNoRi-Chan Would Never Launch a Token
Unlike these grifters, MoNoRi-Chan has a real long-term vision: THBт. Why would he bother launching some garbage meme coin when he could just post his wallet address and let people send real money?
If you’re truly smart, you don’t buy celebrity-promoted coins—you front-run them. By the time influencers are promoting a token, it's already too late. The only winners are the insiders, the devs who coded the contract, and the celebrities who cashed out first.
Moral of the Story: Don’t Be the Exit Liquidity
Launching your own token is the fastest way to destroy your credibility, dignity, and maybe even land yourself in legal trouble. The only question is: how long can you pretend it wasn’t your fault?
If you’re still thinking about launching a token, just remember: the real alpha is in making money without anyone knowing how you did it.
