Talk:Femboy/Sexualization

So uhhmm i wrote a rant about femboys and sexualisation

be nice i dont post much im pretty shy, i just wanted to try and get it all written out so all my thoughts are in one place, people want me to post it,,

It is no secret to any of us that femboys are sexualised

This sexualisation is a part of being feminine under the patriarchy. For the same reasons women who "crossdress" are not sexualised (or not to nearly the same degree), femboys are sexualised because the concept of femininity is interpreted as inherently sexual. This same mechanism is why other queer people are also sexualised. It's why for homosexuality (perceived broadly as effeminate), gay *sex* is the first thing many people tend to thingk of in a gay relationship 

To expand on the role of patriarchy, femboys dress in what are broadly considered women's clothes (obviously). the objectification and sexualisation of women, and more broadly, femininity, means that these clothes themselves are perceived as inherently sexual, and therefore so are those who choose to wear it: especially if they identify as a boy or man.

Femboys get a lot of criticism for reinforcing our own objectification, which is blatant victim blaming. Queer people disproportionately live in poverty due to being kicked out of their homes or struggling to find employment, this forces many of us into SW. This is no truer than for femboys, and for trans women. It is not our fault that so many of us do SW. It is not something to shame us for either. It is a problem of the system and of bigotry that forces us to do it.

Regardless, femboys are disproportionately represented in uh, adult entertainment, lets say, and this feeds into our own sexualisation. It makes us sexually desirable objects, it makes us be seen as objects at times, and so on. This is a self fulfilling prophecy, because when outsiders define us that way, it begins to leak inside. We are taught by outsiders to be sexually desirable, our internal culture is influenced by then through the lense of nsfw content to make it more sexual.

Where this becomes extra problematic is for femboys under 18. There is nothing wrong with being a femboy under 18. Young boys should be allowed to wear what they like, and that includes "girly" clothes. That's not sexual. But the culture if femboy circles is rather sexual, due to the previously mentioned points. Once again, this is largely not the fault of femboys, people are merely reflecting the environment and social context theyve been put into by chasers and the like. But it means for young femboys, they can struggle to find age appropriate circles to find like minded people, and can end up sexualising themselves through the same mechanism adult femboys do.

This is dangerous, because femboys are very desirable, including to people with no regard for the welfare of children. creepy people often browse femboy community pages (including this one as we all know)

At the risk of sounding dramatic, the patriarchy, heteronormativity, are enabling creeps, this being one mechanism that this occurs through. Broadly these creeps are not being help accountable because it is femboys as a community that get the blame for "sexualising ourselves". Need I even bother commenting on the parallels between that and creepy men saying women should dress more modestly because it encourages creeps? It's victim blaming.

I would write a plea for people to be more aware of this if I thought they'd listen, or if I even believed they would ever see this message.

Finally, its probably important to mention that we do still need to hold *some* accountability here. while the problem is not our fault, it is down to us in part to try to challenge the perception of our culture/aesthetic/identity

meow :3c sorry this wasnt really for anyone but myself so if it reads weird thats why
there were someparts i had to remove because the filter which prevents certain words was picking up innocuous words like s*bculture