Femboy/Sexualization
Title: "Pretty in Peril: The Sexualization of Femboys Under Patriarchy"
All names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this article are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
By MoNoRi-Chan, Resident Catboy & Freelance Social Critic
In the dark corners of late-stage capitalism, where even identities are commodified and aesthetics are mined for content, there walks a figure — slender, soft, perhaps in a skirt, eyeliner sharp as his wit. A femboy. Adored, derided, desired, and dismissed. And in the eyes of the patriarchy, he is a walking contradiction. Or worse: an object.
The sexualization of femboys isn’t just a quirky side-effect of online culture — it’s a product of deeply embedded social structures that define femininity as inherently sexual and submissive. To understand why this happens, and why it puts femboys (especially younger ones) at real risk, we need to go beyond the memes and thigh-highs.
✦ The Feminine = Sexual Under Patriarchy
First things first: let’s talk patriarchy. Under this system, femininity is not just considered "different" — it is degraded, fetishized, and controlled. Feminine people are seen not as full human beings but as vessels of sexual possibility. This doesn’t just apply to cis women — it applies to anyone who performs femininity, especially those who aren't “supposed” to.
So when a man, a boy, or someone masculine-coded decides to wear a skirt, some makeup, or god forbid, a crop top, the response isn’t neutral. It’s either revulsion or arousal. Sometimes both. Because the culture doesn’t know how to treat femininity without immediately sexualizing it. And when femininity appears in an unexpected package, that shock value feeds directly into fetish.
Hence the existence of the Femboy Folder on every terminally online guy’s hard drive.
✦ Adultified by Design: Queer Survival and Sex Work
Here’s the rub (pun not intended): femboys aren’t just seen as sexual, they’re often forced into being sexual.
Queer people — especially visibly feminine ones — are disproportionately pushed to the margins. Rejected by families, discriminated against in the workplace, and alienated by a world that doesn’t know where to put us, many turn to sex work (SW) not because it's glamorous, but because it pays the rent.
And no, that’s not something to be ashamed of. But it is something to understand when we examine how femboys get associated almost exclusively with adult content. The algorithm doesn’t show you a femboy making soup. It shows you the one in cat ears and a plug. That’s not a personal choice. That’s market demand.
Blaming femboys for “sexualizing themselves” is like blaming a starving artist for painting what sells.
✦ When NSFW Culture Leaks into the IRL Playground
Now here’s where things get dangerous: this oversexualized identity doesn’t stay in the adult zone. It spills over into social spaces, fandoms, and communities where young femboys — teenagers, even tweens — are just trying to explore who they are.
But the culture they've entered is soaked in adult content. It’s the air everyone breathes. And without age-appropriate, affirming spaces, these young people start to internalize the idea that their value is sexual. That to be feminine, to be cute, is to be wanted. That being wanted is being objectified. That being objectified is the goal.
This is how you create a pipeline from self-expression to self-exploitation — all while society blames the victims.
✦ Chasers, Creeps, and the Cult of Denial
Femboy spaces are routinely stalked by predators. We all know it. It’s the unspoken truth. From Discord servers to Reddit threads to TikTok DMs, there’s a parade of creeps just waiting for someone vulnerable enough to manipulate.
And instead of holding them accountable, people turn around and accuse the community of “asking for it.” You know, the classic “what was he wearing?” logic, just applied with pastel socks and bunny ears.
Let’s be clear: saying femboys sexualize themselves is like saying a broken window invited the burglar.
✦ So What Do We Do?
We can’t fix patriarchy overnight, nor can we un-invent the internet’s thirst problem. But we can begin to shift the narrative.
Femboys don’t need to stop being cute, soft, pretty, or femme. What we need is for people to stop treating those things like open invitations to dehumanization.
And within the community, we need to do better, too. To make room for expression without performance. To build spaces where being femme isn’t a kink — it’s just an aesthetic. We need to be vigilant about predators, honest about internalized sexualization, and courageous enough to say: we are not your fetish.
✦ Closing Meow
Femboys are not props in someone else’s fantasy. We are not punchlines, porn genres, or AI-generated thirst traps. We’re people. And some of us are barely even old enough to vote.
It’s not radical to want a world where being pretty doesn’t make you a target.
It’s not naive to demand dignity while looking fabulous.
And it’s not our fault that this system treats femininity like a curse and a commodity at the same time.
Stay safe out there. And if you’re reading this in a skirt — keep slaying, comrade. But maybe also lock your DMs.
Meow :3c
— MoNoRi-Chan 🐾
If you enjoyed this article, remember: it costs $0.00 to not sexualize marginalized people. But tipping your local catboy activist is encouraged.
