Talk:Costco
10 Things to Do While Waiting in the Costco Gas Line Like a Certified Main Character
So you're stuck in the Costco gas line. The sun's blazing, the queue's crawling, and your tank's thirstier than a forex trader on CPI day. But you're not here to waste time. You're here to flex. Welcome to MoNoRi-Chan's Definitive Guide to Turning Gas Line Limbo into a Car Spa Spectacle.
1. Blast Your Music Like It's the Middle of Kingston
The aux cable is sacred. Queue up Pyramids by DVBBS and Sanjin, max volume, windows down. Bonus points if your speakers rattle just a bit — not because they’re broken, but because they vibrate with purpose.
🎶 “Walk in the dance, brand new shades on
Pon the floor, all the gal dem a stay pon'
Nuff kush and ting we blaze on...
ℌ𝔦𝔤𝔥 𝔏𝔦𝔨𝔢 𝔞 𝔓𝔶𝔯𝔞𝔪𝔦𝔡𝔰”
Let that 'woofer bless di aisle 6.
2. Exit the Vehicle Like a Music Video Shot
Push open that door slowly. Step out in slow motion. Your brand new polarized shades reflect the sun — or was that the judgmental look from the Tesla behind you? Doesn’t matter. You're not in a car. You're on a runway.
3. Windex’pon Di Mirror, Clean it Like You Mean it
You pull out your Costco pack of Windex and your roll of Kirkland paper towels. With finesse, you clean your side mirrors, rearview, and windows like you’re prepping for a car show. The scent of ammonia and street dominance fills the air.
4. Wipe Down That Dashboard Like It’s a Ritual
Dashboard. Steering wheel. Touchscreen. Cupholders. You make it sparkle. The moms in the Odyssey next to you? Still on Candy Crush. The dude in the lifted Tacoma? Still idle-ling. But you — you’re entering monk mode, wiping your sins away one microfiber stroke at a time.
5. Check Your Tire Pressure (Or at Least Pretend To)
Squat next to your wheels. Tap them thoughtfully. Maybe press on the valve cap. People won’t know if you’re checking PSI or just vibing. Doesn’t matter — it adds to the aura of “I know what I’m doing.”
6. Take a Mirror Selfie
Let the rearview mirror capture your soul. Pop that phone out. Tilt your head. Boom — caption: “Just me and $4.39/gallon inflation romance 💔⛽”
7. Peep Everyone’s MPG Setup Like a Snitch
You glance at the dashboards around you:
- Camry? 27 MPG.
- F-150? Don’t even.
- Prius? Respect.
Then give your own MPG display a pat. That’s your daily affirmation right there.
8. Secretly Judge Every Car With Engine Still Running
You're out here keeping the planet clean while Chad in the BMW X5 is out here idling like he’s trying to terraform Costco’s parking lot. You give him a side-eye — he feels it in his soul.
9. Make Eye Contact With Fellow Veterans of the Queue
Another Prius owner walks by. You nod. No words exchanged. Just mutual respect for the plugless grind and shared rage at the person who’s taking 7 minutes on premium.
10. Arrive at the Pump with a Clean Exterior, Interior, and Conscience
You glide up to the pump with your car shining and smelling like citrus-techno-zen. People look at your ride, then at theirs. Regret floods their souls. But it’s too late. You're already filling up and sliding on shades like the Costco Samurai you are.
Final Words from MoNoRi-Chan:
Don’t just sit there wasting life while the line moves like molasses. Turn that 20-minute wait into a mini car makeover and dopamine infusion. Gas may cost more than a gourmet meal these days, but style? That’s free.
🧽🕶️⛽
#CostcoGasChronicles
#CarWashWhileYouWait
#PriusSenseiApproved
