SPKZMC:ProtectionStones
📰 Art3mis Dispatch
Title: “Squatter's Paradise No More: ProtectionStones Under Taxation Siege!”
Byline: MoNoRi-Chan, Minister of Capitalist Resurrection and Dirt-backed Banking
🧱 ProtectionStones: The People’s Land, Now with a Price Tag
It started with a dream. A dream where any player—no matter how poor, janky, or TNT-obsessed—could walk into the wildlands of Art3mis, slap down a ProtectionStone, and call it “Home Sweet Lag-Spike.” It was the people's system. The anti-Decree. A liberation from the bureaucratic chains of manually issued land claims that were slower than a boat on soul sand.
But like all experiments in utopia... it was doomed.
🧾 From Royal Decree to Royal B.S.
Previously, land in Art3mis was administered through the exalted yet sluggish Royal Decree's Land Claims system. You wanted a plot? You filled out a request. MoNoLidThZ, in his role as Master Mason of Oasis, would sometimes grant it—if he wasn’t AFK, or arguing with Califrog about railroad tunnels.
Then along came ProtectionStones: a plugin so anarchistic it would make 2b2t shiver. Now, for the low price of $JR9,900, you could drop a 50×50 claim anywhere and immediately have:
- Mob-proof land,
- Build rights for you and your four closest cultists,
- And the ability to absolutely screw over terrain continuity.
MoNoRi-Chan was skeptical. Califrog was thrilled. Until one day he realized—too many peasants owned too much land.
🐸 The Donald C. Frog Taxation Doctrine
On that fateful laggy Tuesday, Donald C. Frog (as he now prefers to be called, per parody clause §1776) signed an Executive Order with a golden quill (read: /sign edit) and barked the iconic line:
“มีปัญญาวางโพรเทค พวกมึงต้องมีปัญญาจ่าย.” “If you can place it, you better be able to pay taxes on it.”
Thus, MoNoRi-Chan was summoned—between network cable rerouting and SQL wizardry—to implement the Progressive Taxation System. A system designed to:
- Deter mass land squatting,
- Punish oversized 50x50 land barons with 250% tax rates, and
- Subsidize smaller ProtectionStones like a socialist fever dream in a capitalist server.
🧮 The Numbers Behind the Madness
Let’s break it down for you would-be estate tycoons:
Main Article: THE GREAT TAXATION REFORM OF 2025
Why tax per 2 weeks? Because it’s just long enough to forget and slow boil the frog—you.
Art3mis doesn't take your land in a sudden slash. It simmers it out of your wallet, leaving you wondering why you suddenly can't afford a shovel.
🧙♂️ Accidental Benevolence: The Grandfathered Scandal
Due to Califrog’s legendary habit of “skimming config files like they’re EULAs,” the server had one tiny misconfiguration:
Claims meant to be 10x10 actually protected 20x20.
MoNoRi-Chan, having both a functional brain and eyes, fixed it—but not before several players exploited the “feature” and locked down much larger plots than they paid for.
Are they revoked? No. They’re “intentionally grandfathered”—a term MoNoRi-Chan coined after realizing rolling back 68 ProtectionStone entries would be more work than it's worth.
So if you're sitting on one of those accidentally supercharged microclaims, congratulations: you are now a legacy aristocrat of Art3mis. Be proud.
📜 Final Thoughts: A Tale of Intentional Anarchy
ProtectionStones were never meant to work in a world like this.
In a true anarchy server, they’d be seen as heresy.
But here in Art3mis, we do things differently.
We codify chaos.
We subsidize the poor, tax the rich, and grandfather the broken configs.
It’s not perfect. But it works—just like quantum immortality.
So, next time you place a ProtectionStone, just ask yourself:
Can you afford it?
Can you defend it?
Can you handle the tax bill when Donald C. Frog comes knocking? 🐸
You better. Or it’s about to become public domain again.
