Computer Science
From Algorithms to Alimony: The Great Tech Rush of the 21st Century (and Why Your Six Figures Won't Buy Happiness)
This article roasts computer science. Once the domain of quirky geniuses and basement-dwelling coders, it's now become the gold rush of the 21st century. Forget panning for nuggets; today’s prospectors are panning for six-figure salaries straight out of college, fueled by dreams of FAANG riches and early retirement.
Exhibit A: the Reddit post above, a raw, unfiltered expression of the modern CS student’s psyche. “I want MONEY. All I want is MONEY.” It’s a sentiment echoing across university campuses nationwide, drowning out the whispers of passion, innovation, and, dare I say, fulfilment.
Gone are the days of building groundbreaking software for the love of it. Now, it’s all about optimizing resumes for maximum earning potential. “What technology gets me PAID THE BEST?” becomes the mantra, replacing more existential questions like “What problem do I want to solve?” or “Does this code make me feel… anything?”
The lure of FAANG (Facebook/Meta, Amazon, Apple, Netflix, Google) is particularly strong. These tech behemoths are portrayed as the promised land, offering lavish salaries, plush perks, and the prestige of working for a household name. But is it really all it’s cracked up to be?
Let's pull back the curtain on this digital Oz.
The FAANG Trap:
- The Golden Handcuffs: Sure, the starting salary is impressive. But those golden handcuffs quickly tighten. You find yourself working long hours, sacrificing personal time, and becoming increasingly dependent on that hefty paycheck. Suddenly, leaving for a less lucrative but more fulfilling job becomes a terrifying prospect.
- The Corporate Grind: You envisioned yourself innovating, creating, changing the world. Instead, you're fixing bugs in ad algorithms or A/B testing button colors. The reality of corporate tech often involves tedious tasks and bureaucratic hurdles, a far cry from the revolutionary image portrayed in recruitment brochures.
- The Overcrowded Oasis: Everyone and their dog is now a CS major. The market is saturated with graduates all vying for the same limited number of coveted positions. The competition is fierce, and the pressure to stand out is immense. That six-figure dream might turn into a prolonged job search and a mountain of student debt.
- The Existential Void: You achieved your goal. You landed the FAANG job, you’re making the big bucks. But then what? You find yourself staring into the abyss of late-stage capitalism, realizing that money, while important, doesn't buy happiness, purpose, or a sense of meaning.
The Satire, Thickly Veiled:
The Reddit post, while seemingly earnest, serves as a perfect satire of this phenomenon. The relentless focus on money, the disregard for anything else, highlights the absurdity of reducing a complex and creative field to a mere financial transaction.
The Punchline:
The tech industry is undoubtedly lucrative, but it’s not a guaranteed path to happiness. Chasing money for money's sake is a hollow pursuit. While financial security is important, it shouldn't be the sole driving force behind your career choices.
So, to all the aspiring coders out there: by all means, strive for success. But don’t forget to ask yourself what truly matters. Because even if you land that dream FAANG job and rake in the dough, you might find yourself asking, “Is this all there is?” And that, my friends, is a bug no amount of code can fix.
From Algorithms to Alimony: The Great Tech Rush of the 21st Century (and Why Your Six Figures Won't Buy Happiness) - Part 2: The Crashing Reality
Last time, we delved into the allure of computer science, the siren song of six-figure salaries and FAANG dreams. But what happens when the music stops? What happens when the reality of the tech industry crashes down like a poorly optimized server?
Let’s revisit our money-hungry CS student from Reddit. Imagine two years have passed since graduation. The initial euphoria of finally having a degree has faded, replaced by the gnawing anxiety of unemployment. The promised land of FAANG turned out to be a mirage, with hundreds of other equally qualified graduates vying for the same limited spots.
The Two-Year Slump:
Our protagonist has sent out hundreds of resumes, attended countless interviews, and mastered the art of faking enthusiasm for coding challenges. But the rejections keep piling up. The six-figure dreams have dwindled into desperate pleas for any job that pays a living wage. The student loans are looming, the savings are dwindling, and the once-confident graduate is now questioning every life choice they’ve ever made.
This isn’t an isolated incident. The tech industry, despite its reputation for endless growth, is cyclical. Layoffs are common, and the market can shift rapidly, leaving even experienced professionals scrambling for new opportunities. The glut of new CS graduates only exacerbates the problem, creating a hyper-competitive landscape where even a stellar GPA and a portfolio of impressive projects might not be enough.
The Crypto Mirage and the Tech Bro Messiahs:
Enter the world of cryptocurrencies and the self-proclaimed “tech bros” who preach its gospel. These charismatic figures promise a new era of decentralized finance, a way to escape the clutches of traditional institutions and achieve financial freedom. They paint a picture of overnight riches, fueled by buzzwords like “blockchain”, “NFTs”, and “the metaverse”.
Our struggling graduate, desperate for a lifeline, might be tempted to jump on the crypto bandwagon. The promise of quick gains is alluring, a potential escape from the soul-crushing job search. But the reality of the crypto market is often far different. Volatility is rampant, scams are prevalent, and the vast majority of people who “invest” end up losing money.
These tech bros, often already wealthy from previous ventures, perpetuate this cycle. They pump up the hype, driving up prices, only to cash out at the top, leaving the average investor holding the bag. It’s a modern-day gold rush, with the same predictable outcome: a few get rich, while the vast majority are left with nothing but empty promises and shattered dreams.
The 10-Year Money Game (and Why It Never Ends):
The fundamental problem is that the tech industry, and the capital markets in general, operate on a 10-year cycle. There’s always a new “hot” technology, a new investment trend, a new bubble to inflate. This constant influx of new money creates the illusion of endless opportunity, perpetuating the cycle of hype, boom, and bust.
This is why the “get rich quick” mentality persists. There’s always a new generation of graduates, eager to chase the next big thing, pouring their time, money, and energy into the latest fad. And there are always those waiting to profit from their naivety.
The Harsh Truth:
The pursuit of money, especially in a field as volatile as tech, is a dangerous game. While a comfortable salary is certainly desirable, it shouldn’t be the sole focus of your career. The reality is that the tech industry is overcrowded, competitive, and prone to unpredictable shifts. Chasing the next big payday is a recipe for disappointment.
The true path to success, and perhaps even happiness, lies in finding work that is both challenging and fulfilling, regardless of the immediate financial rewards. Because in the long run, chasing money will only lead you down a rabbit hole of anxiety, disillusionment, and perhaps even two years of unemployment. And that, as we’ve learned, is a bug that even the most advanced AI can’t fix.