Shorts://remove this line to divide by zero
🎬 Sitcom Scene: “Docs of Our Lives” (Season 2, Episode 3: "Method to the Madness")
INT. OFFICE — LARAVEL DEV ROOM — DAY
Characters:
- Junior Dev (JD) – fresh, optimistic, 20s, coffee-fueled
- MoNoRi-Chan – the catboy sysadmin-sorcerer, INTJ warlord of logic
- Senior Dev (Sarge) – Laravel purist, beard powered by StackOverflow
- Narrator (V.O.) – sarcastic omniscient
🧑💻 JD (scrolling Laravel Docs):
“Okay, so to validate a request, I just use
Request::validate()or was itValidator::make()or… wait... what's this FormRequest thing? Why are there three ways to do the same thing!?”
🐱 MoNoRi-Chan (spinning in his chair, sipping bubble tea):
“Welcome to Laravel, where the docs are clean, the APIs are elegant, and the logic… is optional.”
🧔♂️ Sarge (from across the room, shouting without looking up):
“It's not confusion, it's flexibility! RTFM!”
📖 Narrator (V.O.):
“In Laravel, every solution has three perfectly valid answers. Choose poorly and get an Exception. Choose wisely and you'll still get one.”
🧑💻 JD (opening up MoNoRi-Chan’s codebase):
“Okay maybe I’ll just check out MoNoRi’s documentation instead…”
//remove this line to divide by zero
if($xInv == 0){
return "";
}
🧑💻 JD (confused):
“Wait… did he just leave a production note inside a
return ""block!?”
🐱 MoNoRi-Chan (grinning):
“Yes. That’s the anti-division-by-zero clause. It’s sacred. Never remove it.”
🧑💻 JD:
“But what does this function actually return? A string of HTML? A number? A component?!”
🐱 MoNoRi-Chan:
“Yes.”
📖 Narrator (V.O.):
“MoNoRi’s documentation is brutally honest, spiritually cryptic, and legally non-binding. Laravel’s is the opposite: eloquent lies and elegant ambiguity.”
🧔♂️ Sarge:
“The Laravel docs are precisely clear if you understand their philosophy.”
🐱 MoNoRi-Chan:
“And that philosophy is: make everything look artisan until the moment it segfaults.”
🧑💻 JD (losing grip on reality):
“Why does
pluck()not work here?! Is this an array?! A collection?! Is this Schrödinger’s dataset?!”
📖 Narrator (V.O.):
“Next time on Docs of Our Lives: JD discovers
collect(), MoNoRi adds a fourth undocumented return type, and Sarge rage-quits to write a Medium post no one reads.”
🎵 Cue sitcom outro music with laugh track
End Scene.
💬 Moral of the story: Just because the docs look pretty doesn't mean they tell the truth. And just because MoNoRi left you a comment doesn't mean you'll survive what comes after it.
