SPKZMC:Permissions

Royal Decree Episode ???+4.5: The Abdul Protocol

Filed By: Royal Decree Intelligence Office – Department of Server Sanity

Case ID: RD-045-ESP

Status: Investigated & Mitigated

Date of Incident: 5/08/2025

🧾 Incident Summary

At approximately 01:44:12, a critical permission misconfiguration led to player Stinkz373 executing the `/kill` command on fellow player Abdul multiple times.

[PFD] Abdul did not have Insurance.

[PFD] Abdul didn't die. They just stopped living.

This went unnoticed by server moderation until an inspection of the permissions table revealed an accidental global assignment of `essentials.kill` to all users.

🧪 Victim Profile: Abdul

• Title: Minister of Power, Mashallah Mining Co.
• Faction: Mashallah Mining Co.
• Affiliation: Channel 1 Infrastructure
• Known Equipment: Aristois Client (AutoRespawn Enabled™)
• Respawn Delay: Estimated at 0.02s
• Mental Status: Confused, but alive.

🎯 The Attacker: Stinkz373

• Classified Role: Default
• Behavior: Repeated usage of `/kill` on Abdul across multiple coordinates.
• Motive: Likely exploratory. Possibly giggles.

🧰 Root Cause

A rogue permission node: <syntaxhighlight lang="text"> essentials.kill: true </syntaxhighlight> ...was granted to all player groups. This may have been introduced during routine permission syncs or MoNoRi-Chan’s caffeine-fueled 3AM configuration sessions.

⚙️ Mitigation

At 01:45:40, [RD]MoNoLidThZ acted swiftly and responsibly via LuckPerms WebEditor:

 - essentials.kill: true
 + essentials.discord: true 

In short: You can’t kill anymore, but hey — you can now see the server's Discord link. (Progress?)

📊 Aftermath

• Abdul was resurrected more times than a test dummy in a crash lab.
• No emeralds lost.
• Player morale: Spiked with laughter.
• Califrog: Unbothered. Probably mining coal somewhere.

🧠 Recommendations

• Avoid giving `/kill` access to the general public
• Review all permission nodes weekly
• Use Abdul as official permission test subject
• Consider adding audit trail for all high-impact command nodes

🕵️ Fun Facts

• Abdul’s kill count reached a Guinness-Worthy 7 deaths in 45 seconds
• MoNoLidThZ still has PTSD from scrolling the WebEditor
• Players are still unsure whether "Insurance" is a real plugin (it isn’t)

📂 Filed Under

• Server Incidents
• LuckPerms Misconfigurations
• Abdul Is Immortal
• Anarchy Moments