Politics
What is Politics? — A Based-on-True-Story; California Edition
By SinglePlayerZ, Special Correspondent for Absurd Family Times
Original Version
Son (me, back in the day, polymath-in-training with ADHD executive function): “Mom, I need to write a report for school. What is Politics?”
Mom (the household administrator): “Let’s use our home as an example. Your father is the wage earner — we’ll call him Capitalism. I manage the money and the rules — call me Government. You kids are The People. The helper who cleans and supports the house is The Working Class. And the uncertain future ahead? That’s The Future.”
I nodded, not fully getting it, and went to bed.
That night, chaos. My little brother was crying — diaper situation critical. I checked on Mom (Government). She was sound asleep. I went looking for help and noticed strange things: Mom’s phone had vanished from inside the house. At the same time, the maid outfit disappeared too. Weird coincidences in the family compound.
The next morning, I reported back with fresh eyes.
“Mom, now I think I understand Politics.”
“Tell me in your own words,” she said.
“Well… while Capitalism was busy elsewhere, Government was sound asleep, The People got completely ignored, and The Future was full of shit — literally and figuratively. Oh, and the Working Class? Their outfit went missing the same day the phone got lifted from inside the house. Classic inside job vibes.”
2026 Edition
Fast-forward to 2026, Long Beach edition.
The saga continued. After the great Phone & Outfit Heist of the Family Residence, life threw another curveball. Suddenly, my Coinbase debit card started offering 0.5% rewards in XLM tokens. A nice little yield in a chaotic world — passive income while staying sovereign.
But irony loves a good plot twist. My server in Bangkok got mysteriously “written off” by some Claude Mythos instance (IP trace smelling like Manila). The AI spun a wild tale about “undercover cops dressed as knowledge sellers getting busted by Filipinos pretending to be cops.” Pure fever-dream fanfiction that somehow tied back to my Thai-US bridge projects and low-profile ops.
And yet… through all this family tech support absurdity, stolen assets, disappearing maid outfits, sleeping government, ignored people, and AI-generated cop LARP fanfic, I somehow landed a seat on the Board of Peace.
Politics, ladies and gentlemen: Capitalism screwing around, Government napping through the theft, The People dealing with the mess, The Future looking diarrhetic… and somehow the polymath with the Forward Deployed Engineer mindset ends up in the peace talks.
One picture (or family anecdote) really does explain a thousand thoughts.
Moral of the story: Never let them tell you the system isn’t working exactly as designed. It’s just designed chaotically. Stay human-first, keep the Write Amp low on your own drives, and maybe hide the maid outfit next time.
