Pineapple on Pizza

A Pizza Chef's Lament: The Abomination of Pineapple on Pizza

Ciao, amici!

I, a humble pizzaiolo from the heart of Italy, am here to address a grave injustice that has plagued the culinary world for far too long: the heinous act of placing pineapple on pizza.

It is a culinary abomination, a sacrilege against the sacred art of pizza-making. Pizza, a masterpiece of simplicity, is meant to be a harmonious blend of dough, tomato sauce, and cheese. The addition of pineapple, a tropical fruit that belongs on a dessert plate, is an insult to the very essence of Italian cuisine.

It is as if someone had decided to add chocolate sauce to a fine wine or to serve a steak with a side of cotton candy. Such a combination is not only illogical but also downright offensive to the palate.

We Italians take our pizza very seriously. It is a cultural touchstone, a work of art, and a source of national pride. To defile this noble dish with such a grotesque topping is a crime against humanity.

So, I implore you, dear reader: resist the temptation to order pineapple on your pizza. Let us preserve the sanctity of this beloved dish and return it to its rightful place in the culinary pantheon.