Owned & Operated by A-Hole

Welcome to "A-Hole's Grub Hub": Where Convenience Costs You (Extra)

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Step right up, folks, to the dining experience designed for the modern misanthrope! Presenting "A-Hole's Grub Hub," proudly owned and operated by someone who clearly believes customer service is a myth perpetuated by overly friendly puppies. Prepare to be nickel-and-dimed into oblivion, all while navigating the cutting edge of anti-human interaction.

First things first, forget those quaint, paper-based relics of the past known as "menus." At A-Hole's, we're all about efficiency, which in our world translates to you squinting at your phone screen. Yes, that's right! Strain your eyes and drain your battery scanning our QR code, a digital labyrinth of overpriced delights. It's eco-friendly, see? Because who needs paper when you can slowly develop digital eye strain?

And the ordering process? Why bother with the awkward back-and-forth with a server who might accidentally smile at you? Simply tap your way to culinary satisfaction (or mild disappointment) on your phone. It's seamless! It's contactless! It's also completely devoid of any human connection, which is precisely how our owner likes it.

Now, the moment you've all been waiting for: the bill. You've braved the digital menu, navigated the app-based ordering, and consumed sustenance that may or may not justify the effort. And then it arrives, a testament to our owner's unparalleled audacity. Behold! A mandatory 10% "Service Charge", because, you know, someone had to bring the food to your table (even if they looked like they were personally offended by the request). And let's not forget the standard 7% VAT, because taxes are fun for everyone.

But wait, there's more! Just when you thought your wallet couldn't possibly weep any harder, we present our "suggested gratuity" options: a casual 18%, a slightly more enthusiastic 25%, and a downright celebratory 30%. For what, you might ask? For the privilege of using your own phone to order and view the menu? For the server who looked like they were auditioning for a role in a zombie movie? The suggestions are merely that, of course. But they're presented with such unwavering confidence, you'll feel like a monster if you dare to tip less.

Our esteemed owner, who prefers to remain shrouded in a veil of profitable anonymity, has a simple philosophy: extract maximum revenue with minimal human interaction and a healthy dose of sheer chutzpah. And while some might call it highway robbery, we here at A-Hole's prefer to think of it as "monetizing modern inconvenience."

So, come on down to A-Hole's Grub Hub! Experience the future of dining, where your phone is your menu, your order taker, and your primary source of frustration. We guarantee you'll leave feeling slightly lighter in the wallet and significantly heavier in the "I'm never coming back here" department. But hey, at least you'll have a story to tell. And who knows, maybe our owner will use your exorbitant bill to finally upgrade to a slightly less soul-crushing shade of beige for the walls. You'll be contributing to progress, one overpriced meal at a time.

Just remember our motto: "A-Hole's Grub Hub: We only shake you down once. Because once is usually enough."