Lead pipe
Lead Pipes: The Gift That Keeps on Poisoning
Ah, lead pipes—the Cadillac of water infrastructure… if that Cadillac also gave you brain damage. Once hailed as the pinnacle of plumbing technology, lead pipes were the standard in America for over a century, especially in cities like Detroit. But what started as an engineering marvel quickly turned into a nationwide slow-motion public health disaster.
Why Were Lead Pipes So Popular?
Before we realized that drinking water laced with neurotoxins was a bad idea, lead pipes were the gold standard for plumbing. And for good reason:
✔️ Malleability – Lead is soft and easy to shape, perfect for plumbers who didn’t want to deal with brittle or breakable materials.
✔️ Durability – Unlike iron pipes, lead doesn’t rust. (Because who cares about rust when you’re consuming toxic heavy metals?)
✔️ Long Lifespan – Some lead pipes installed over 100 years ago are still in use today! (Yay?)
It was so good that the U.S. government, under heavy lobbying from lead manufacturers and plumbing unions, mandated the use of lead service lines until 1987. That’s right—they legally required cities to poison their own residents because it was profitable.
How Did We Figure Out That Lead Is Bad?
Science, once again, had to be the party pooper. Turns out, lead doesn’t just sit in the pipes—it seeps into the water. And what does lead poisoning do?
- Brain damage – IQ reduction, learning disabilities, and impulse control problems. (Great for the economy!)
- Nerve damage – Because functioning limbs are overrated.
- Organ failure – Who needs kidneys when you have a perfectly good grave to live in?
By the 1920s, doctors already knew lead was dangerous, but that didn’t stop the Lead Industry Association from launching propaganda campaigns claiming lead pipes were perfectly safe. (Drink up, kids!)
Detroit & The Lead Pipe Legacy
Cities like Detroit fully embraced lead pipes, installing them in nearly every home and building. And because infrastructure maintenance is about as popular as paying taxes, many of those lead pipes are still in use today.
Fast forward to the Flint Water Crisis—a case study in how lead contamination can still happen when cities cut corners. Flint switched water sources in 2014 without proper corrosion control, causing lead to leach into the drinking water, exposing tens of thousands of people, including children, to lead poisoning. The best part? No one in power faced any real consequences!
From Clay to Copper: A History of Pipe Materials
Before humans decided to slowly poison themselves with lead, ancient civilizations used:
🟠 Terracotta pipes – Clay pipes that lasted centuries. Rome used them, and guess what? No lead poisoning!
🔘 Wooden pipes – Hollowed-out logs used in colonial America. Sure, they rotted, but at least they didn’t kill you.
🔩 Iron & Steel pipes – Rusty but lead-free, so a mild upgrade.
🟢 Copper & PVC pipes – The modern standard, because not poisoning people is actually a good idea.
The Lead Ban (Too Little, Too Late?)
In 1987, the U.S. finally banned lead pipes for new installations. But here’s the problem: millions of lead pipes were already in the ground, quietly leaching their IQ-lowering magic into America’s drinking water. Even today, it’s estimated that over 9 million U.S. homes still rely on lead pipes.
What Now?
The Biden administration has promised to replace all lead service lines in the next decade, but given America’s love for procrastination (and the fact that lobbyists still exist), we’ll see how that plays out. Meanwhile, municipalities are still using "don’t drink the water" advisories instead of actually fixing the problem.
Until then, if you live in an older home, maybe invest in a really good water filter… or just switch to beer. Cheers! 🍻
