Internet Capital Markets
Where Coins Fly, Dreams Die, and Cabals Cry (Tears of Joy from Your Liquidity)
📉 The Four Horsemen of Altcoin Apocalypse Appear Again... In a world where centralized banks sleep on weekends and your 401k moves slower than a sloth in molasses, a new breed of degeneracy thrives. Introducing the Internet Capital Markets (ICM) – a 24/7 gladiator arena powered by dopamine, Discord mods, and mysterious forces only referred to in hushed tones as:
“The House, the QOL, and The Cabal.”
🏦 The House – aka The Exchanges
These aren’t your grandpa’s stock brokers. The House doesn’t just list your coin—they test your soul. They provide the stage and collect the rake while your tokens pump to Valhalla or nosedive into pixelated purgatory.
- Want to cash out? Here’s a 2% fee.
- Want to front-run bots? Sorry, you're the exit liquidity.
- Want your new meme token listed? Fill out the form, sacrifice a chicken, and hope the volume gods answer.
🛠️ The QOL – aka “Quality of Liquidity” Providers
Don’t let the cute acronym fool you. These folks run liquidity farms with all the warmth and compassion of a corporate HR bot. Their job?
Decide whether your hard-earned SOL-backed memecoin deserves life or death based on how many digits your wallet has.
They call it “providing liquidity.”
You call it “waking up to a -87.1% candle while brushing your teeth.”
🧙♂️ The Cabals – aka “Market Sentiment Engineering Committees”
Oh yes, the Cabals. These shadowy factions with insider alpha, low latency bots, and enough SOL to burn Jupiter’s atmosphere. They meet in Telegram backrooms and Twitter Spaces disguised as memesmiths and ‘community builders’—but they already know:
- Which coin will moon.
- Which coin will be sacrificed for liquidity.
- And exactly how to time the dump so the average pleb can't even get a candle to wick their limit sell.
Want to challenge them?
Sure, go ahead and post “HODL” in a group chat while they quietly rug-pull 80% in the background.
💼 The Retail Class – aka “You, Bagholder #1139827”
Welcome to the jungle, soldier.
You've got a phone, a wallet, and an unhealthy desire to turn $42 into $42 million. But as the charts show — GOONC, BSCREENER, LAUNCHCOIN, DUPE — they all went from hero to zero faster than you can say “when marketing?”
You aped in because the chart looked bullish, the community seemed active, and someone said, “dev is based.”
Now you’re staring at your wallet wondering if it’s broken or just emotionally reflecting your choices.
📉 Final Thoughts from the Bleeding Charts
The ICM never sleeps. The candles never wait. The Cabals never miss.
If you hold a digital wallet and think you're free—you’re just a participant in someone else's exit strategy.
So here’s a word from your neighborhood meme prophet:
"Diversify like you’re dating during a recession.
Stablecoin when your gut says the vibes are off.
And remember: this 24/7 rollercoaster doesn’t stop unless the internet dies or the House pulls the plug."
Welcome to ICM. Enjoy your stay.
Bring snacks. You’ll be here a while.
📍Bonus Trivia:
- DUPE dumped -85.84% and yet someone still said “chart looks bullish.”
- GOONC rug pulled harder than your grandma’s living room carpet.
- LAUNCHCOIN launched… straight into the abyss.
Good luck out there, MoNoRi-Chan.
And never forget: In ICM, you either ride the pump or become liquidity. There is no in-between.
