Heroes of Newerth
HoN: The Game That Died So Dota Could Live
In the gospel according to MoNoRi-Chan, Heroes of Newerth (HoN) wasn’t just a regular Dog Game—it was a piece of trash lol class divide simulator with a MOBA skin. While most Thai school kids were busy pouring their parents’ lunch money into flashy cosmetics and paywalled heroes, MoNoRi-Chan was over there playing Dota 2 Beta, typing out attack commands like some war correspondent in a LAN shop surrounded by screaming teens and the scent of instant noodles.
🐶 What is a "Dog Game"?
Let’s get this out of the way:
Dog Game (n.) – A game you hate, criticize, and claim you’re quitting every week, but still play religiously because everyone else is doing it.
By this definition, HoN was the doggiest of all dog games in Thai high schools. It had:
- MatchMaking Rating (MMRs)
- Fake-named versions of Dota heroes
- And a brutal grind for hero access, unless you whale out like your dad owns 7-Elevens
🧍♂️ The One Hipster in a Sea of Spoon-Fed Spoiled Brats
While HoN kids were out there shouting "Mid or feed!" and rocking exclusive hero skins and avatars they paid for with dad’s Amex, MoNoRi-Chan said:
"Why would I pay to get clapped by someone who only won because they unlocked an OP hero with money?" "I’d rather get clapped equally in Dota, thank you."
The HoN free hero rotation?
Even Captain’s Draft looked generous in comparison. It was like Netflix rotating only 5 movies a week, and you could only watch 3 unless you bought the Premium Popcorn Pass.
💸 Pay-To-Win? More like Pay-To-Survive
The Thai HoN ecosystem was a black hole of Baht. You could:
- Play for free and get flamed,
- Pay for your Avatar and still get flamed for being noob,
- Or pay tens of thousands and… you still got flamed, but at least you glowed.
The whales ruled the pubstomp ocean, and the F2P plankton got eaten alive. Meta? Stale. Strategy?
“Ban Scout, pick Pebbles. Done.” It was like playing chess with only pawns, and your opponent has a credit card queen.
🧠 Meanwhile in Dota 2: Beta Builds and Brain Damage
MoNoRi-Chan, resisting the HoN herd, chose the high road (with higher ping) and played Dota 2 Beta.
- All heroes unlocked
- Constant updates
- Unusual couriers unboxed from the RNG gods
- Meta changes so frequent it gave pros PTSD mid-tournament
Dota was hard.
It was confusing.
It was beautiful.
But it also aged MoNoRi-Chan faster than drinking unfiltered water in a Thai rural village.
Slower fingers, brain lag, and the creeping dread of getting outclicked by a 12-year-old Russian with a battle pass.
🔫 From Moba Hell to Gun Game Purgatory
Eventually, even Dota became a dog game. You don’t play it for fun. You play it because you’ve played it too long to quit.
So MoNoRi-Chan switched to CS:GO — a new flavor of masochism.
- Still a dog game
- But this time, it’s FPS and capitalist
- You can sell cases!
- You can also get wallbanged through smoke by a hacker in Russia, but at least you didn’t spend ฿2,000 on a monkey riding a rocket.
TL;DR
HoN:
- Clone of Dota with stolen identity and microtransactions
- A museum piece now, frozen in pay-to-win amber
- Only enjoyed by rich kids and the nostalgically deluded
Dota 2:
- Meta evolves faster than your GPA drops
- Free-to-play, but mentally expensive
- MoNoRi-Chan’s weapon of choice during youth rebellion
CS:GO:
- The new dog game
- But at least it's a financially functional addiction
Final Words from MoNoRi-Chan
"Play whatever you want. But just know… if you paid ฿5,000 to unlock a hero in HoN, and that game’s servers are now gone…
You didn’t just lose your money.
You funded your own obsolescence." 👑
