Floor & Ceiling
🚨 BREAKING: STOCK MARKET SURVIVES CRISIS BY PRETENDING IT’S NOT BLEEDING 🚨
"If we just squint hard enough, red becomes beige," – SET, probably
In an astounding display of financial wizardry, the Stock Exchange of Thailand (SET) has decided that bleeding to death slowly is far more dignified than a rapid arterial spray, by reducing the daily floor/ceiling limit from ±30% to ±15%, effective today.
The new rule is a noble attempt to stop investors from panicking too fast, because clearly, the problem isn't the fundamentals, the market structure, or global sentiment—it's just that people are noticing the blood too quickly.
Today, SET Index dropped a measly -6 points (-0.6%), while several poor souls got yeeted into the abyss at -15%, like a financial version of Squid Game, but with PowerPoint charts and margin calls.
🛑 Introducing: “Stability Theatre™”
“No worries, sir. We’ve regulated volatility. It’s not a crash. It’s just contained disappointment.” – some policy goblin at SET
The decision is apparently aimed at “investor protection and market stability,” which in translation means:
- “We don’t want bad headlines.”
- “Please don’t take your money to Binance.”
- “Your bags will now bleed at a controlled drip rate.”
🎪 Price Bands: The Clown Nose of Capitalism
Other markets around the world, such as NYSE or crypto exchanges, understand one thing:
If you're gonna crash, do it spectacularly.
- $LUNA? -99% three days in a row.
- GME? +300% in a week because of Reddit.
- Crypto? Daily purge or moon, no safety rails, just vibes and fake decentralization.
Meanwhile, SET is out here telling retail investors:
“We don’t allow innovation. We allow stability-shaped delusions with the velocity of a dying boomer.”
🩹 Death by 3-Day Weekend
By implementing a -15% floor, what used to be a one-day exorcism of bad stocks has now turned into a long weekend funeral.
Instead of going -30% once and getting it over with, we now get:
- Friday: -15%
- Monday: -15% again
- Tuesday: “Market closed for mourning. Please refresh page.”
- Wednesday: Still bleeding, but now with less enthusiasm.
It’s like watching a slow-motion car crash with elevator music playing in the background. “Inverted V-shaped recovery,” they call it.
🚫 Innovation is Suspicious
Let’s not forget that the very concept of +200% memecoin bull runs, fueled by collective stupidity and digital dopamine, is heresy in the sacred halls of SET.
Here, price discovery is okay only when it moves like a depressed turtle, and everything beyond ±15% must be a scam, anomaly, or worse—volatility.
Heaven forbid we have price action that’s actually reflective of sentiment. That would be too much fun, and the regulators already lost sleep during the last IPO pump-and-dump.
🪙 Final Thoughts from Luna’s Ghost
“At least I died quickly, bro. Y’all out here slow-roasting retail like it’s a Thai BBQ.”
SET's current policy is like placing a Band-Aid on a ruptured artery and saying, “We're optimistic about recovery.” When the patient flatlines, at least they’ll be able to say:
“We managed expectations... and that’s what truly matters.”
Go home, SET. Let the stocks fly, or let them crash.
At least let us earn our trauma quickly, not sip it like a long weekend wine.
Welcome to the new age of Financial Stability™: where the pain is regulated, the profits are neutered, and innovation gets slapped with a circuit breaker.
