E-Mail Signature

Be advised: lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.

Attention Users: Planning is a Myth, Deadlines are Fluid (and Ours to Define)

Greetings, valued (but perhaps slightly disorganized) user!

We at the IT Department are thrilled to unveil our new, passive-aggressive email signature: "Be advised: lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part."

Confused? Don't worry, we were too! But then we realized it perfectly encapsulates the spirit of modern IT work. Here's a breakdown for the uninitiated:

Planning? What Planning?

You see, deadlines, like unicorns, are beautiful creatures often spoken of, but rarely encountered. Just because you waited until the last minute to migrate your entire department to a new CRM system (without telling us, of course) doesn't mean we'll magically pull an all-nighter fueled by lukewarm coffee and stale pizza. We have lives, people! Lives filled with yoga classes and reruns of "The Office."

Emergencies? More Like "Inconveniences"

Let's face it, your "critical system outage" that involves you being unable to find your favorite cat meme website is more of an inconvenience. Real emergencies are reserved for, you know, actual emergencies. Like when the server room spontaneously combusts (again, thanks Bob from Accounting and your questionable choice of "space heater").

Deadlines? We Set the Pace Now, Buddy

That presentation you forgot to back up? Yeah, recovering that might take a while. Like, "play some retro video games and contemplate the meaning of life" kind of a while. Remember, patience is a virtue. Especially for those who lack the virtue of… planning.

So, the Next Time You Think It's an Emergency...

Think again! Unless your computer chair spontaneously sprouted tentacles and is trying to take over the world (highly unlikely, but hey, stranger things have happened), chill out. We'll get to your "urgent" request... eventually. Maybe.

Disclaimer: This email signature is entirely satirical and should not be taken seriously. (Unless you're Bob from Accounting, then take it very seriously. Please.)

P.S. If you're feeling overwhelmed, here's a helpful tip: try planning ahead. It's a revolutionary concept, we know, but it can do wonders for reducing your stress levels (and ours).