Doomsday Believers
đĽ The World Isnât Ending, Bro: A Roast of the Doomsday Prepper Industrial Complex⢠đĽ
By someone who survives with caffeine, forex charts, and anti-corporate spite.
Ah yes, the doomsday believers â those scholarly minds who saw one vaguely threatening headline on ZeroHedge and immediately decided it's WW3 time. You know the type:
- Basement bunker in the Nevada desert? â
- 12-year-old MREs with a side of radiation seasoning? â
- Believes Fallout: New Vegas was a warning, not a game? â
- Follows Alex Jones but still uses Mastercard to buy ammo? â
You canât miss them. Theyâre the folks who post grainy memes saying,
âSoon the world will collapse. Prepare.â
Meanwhile, youâre like:
âBro, Swift is still up. Visa just launched a new cashback card. Chill.â
đ§ If WW3 Was Real, Youâd Be Loot Fodder
Letâs get something straight.
If there was a Deathclaw roaming the outskirts of Barstow, the only âFallout simulationâ happening is you becoming EXP points in someone else's quest.
These guys genuinely believe that after nuclear fallout, society will regress into a bartering system where gold bars, bottle caps, or boomer prepper blogs will be currency. My dude⌠the only "reset" we're getting is FedNow and AI-driven austerity.
đ Late-Stage Capitalism Still Got Bills to Pay
âBut the nukes are coming! The dollar will collapse!â Really? Then why is BlackRock still buying property, and Coca-Cola stock still climbing?
No signs of panic, Karen. McDonaldâs is still open 24/7, the forex market hasnât taken a lunch break, and your "impending collapse" hasnât even managed to dent USD/JPY.
If this was really the end of the world, Jeff Bezos wouldnât be trying to sell you a fireproof bunker on Prime Day.
đ How to Instantly Win Arguments With Doomsday Believers
- Ask them if Visa still works. If yes, tell them society hasnât collapsed â weâre just experiencing premium-grade inflation.
- Show them live forex charts. If USD/JPY isnât in freefall and EURUSD isnât trading like a penny stock, no panic yet. Back to your shift, soldier.
- Remind them who controls the nukes. Hint: Not your uncle with a shortwave radio and a Faraday cage full of beans.
- Whip out a late-stage capitalism quote:
âIf WW3 broke out tomorrow, Nike would still drop a sneaker line in collaboration with Fallout Shelter.â
đ§ Final Thoughts: The Real Apocalypse
The only real apocalypse is student loans, $18 Chipotle burritos, and 20% APR credit cards. And no bunker will save you from those.
So to the Doomsday Believers out there:
You hoard rice and iodine tablets. I hoard liquidity zones and FVG candles.
The worldâs not ending â itâs just consolidating.
Now if you donât mind, Iâm returning to my EUR/USD, USD/JPY, and EUR/JPY chart setups. Because in this timeline, the real war isnât for land â
Itâs for influence, order flow, and liquidity. đ¸đ
Welcome to Late-Stage Capitalism.
Your bunker doesn't work here.