Cities: Skylines
Cities: Skylines – The $200+ Urban Planning Scam
From the same company that gave us Magicka: The Stars Are Left—a DLC done right—comes Cities: Skylines, a game that started as a brilliant alternative to the disaster known as SimCity 2013 but somehow devolved into a cash-grabbing monstrosity.
Welcome to the Cities: Skylines DLC Storefront
You know the main menu of a game should be about starting the game, right? Wrong. In Cities: Skylines, the main menu isn't a menu—it's a billboard. A giant, flashing ad for the 20+ DLC packs that Colossal Order and Paradox Interactive want you to buy.
Want seasons? DLC.
Want airports? DLC.
Want industries? DLC.
Want your citizens to know what a bus is? DLC.
At this point, the base game is just a trial version of Cities: Skylines. If you want the full "city-building experience", be ready to spend over $200+ on expansions.
DLC That Should’ve Been in the Base Game:
- Mass Transit ($12.99) – Adds basic transit systems like monorails, ferries, and cable cars. Because apparently, basic transportation is a luxury feature.
- After Dark ($14.99) – Adds nighttime and tourism. Because before this DLC, your city was apparently locked in a state of eternal daylight.
- Green Cities ($12.99) – Lets you build eco-friendly cities with electric cars and clean energy. Yes, being environmentally conscious costs extra.
- Parklife ($14.99) – Lets you build parks. Because grass and trees are apparently premium features.
- Snowfall ($12.99) – Adds winter weather. Meaning, the game launched without seasons, and they charged you extra to add them later.
They even sell individual radio stations as DLC packs for $3.99 each. Imagine paying extra for music in a city-builder like it’s an old-school iTunes purchase.
And Then Came the Paradox Launcher – The Update Nobody Asked For
As if Cities: Skylines wasn’t already monetized to hell and back, Paradox decided to make it worse by introducing the Paradox Launcher—a piece of software that serves zero purpose other than:
- Forcing you to sign into a Paradox account (because, of course, they want your data too).
- Slowing down your game startup time with a bloated Chromium-based launcher.
- Staying in the background like an overbearing mall cop that doesn’t know when to leave.
This launcher adds nothing of value. It doesn’t make the game run better. It doesn’t make DLC cheaper (lol). It’s just another unnecessary hoop to jump through before you can play your overpriced city sim.
One Heroic Developer Fights Back: The Not Paradox Launcher
Bless this anonymous developer's anarchist heart. Instead of accepting the Paradox Launcher, they did what Paradox should have done—made a better launcher that actually improves the experience.
Why Not Paradox Launcher is Better Than Paradox Launcher:
✅ Fast startup (unlike Paradox’s slow, bloated mess).
✅ No ads, no data collection, no remote server nonsense.
✅ Automatically starts the game—because who needs an extra play button?
✅ Shuts down after launch, freeing up RAM instead of lingering in the background.
✅ Lets you force fullscreen, change graphics settings, and even limit FPS.
✅ Supports Linux & Mac (because actual developers care).
✅ Fixes issues that Paradox refuses to address.
Final Thoughts: A City Built on Greed
Cities: Skylines started as a beacon of hope, a game that saved us from the EA-murdered corpse of SimCity. But then, Paradox did what Paradox does best—they saw a good game and said:
"How can we turn this into a never-ending money printer?"
And so, they stripped the game down, locked basic features behind a DLC paywall, shoved in a useless launcher, and called it a day.
If you’re thinking about buying Cities: Skylines, here’s my advice:
- Either go all in and sell your kidneys to afford all the DLCs or
- Pirate it (Oops, did I say that? Whoops, my bad. I meant "Wait for a bundle sale." Wink wink.)
Either way, just know this: Cities: Skylines isn’t a city-builder anymore. It’s a wallet-drainer simulator—and the only real way to win is to not play their game.
