Car Wash
🚗 Car Wash and the Curse of “เกิดแต่กับกู” — How Rain Gods are Literally Farming Your Downfall
Ah yes, the humble car wash. That rare act of self-care and pride for your aging Toyota or beat-up Honda Jazz.
You spent all week staring at the dust crust so thick it could be carbon dated.
You finally carve out 30 minutes from your chaotic schedule of surviving capitalism, drive to the nearest overpriced car wash, hand over the keys, and watch as an underpaid teen scrubs off the sins of the road.
And then—the clouds form.
No weather app warned you.
The sky was clear.
But now, somewhere above the stratosphere, the Rain Gods just opened a group chat:
☁️ “Yo he’s washing his car again.”
🌧️ “LMAO get the monsoon gun ready.”
🌩️ “Bet. I’m bringing hail this time.”
⛈️ “เกิดแต่กับกู energy intensifies.”
☔ “เกิดแต่กับกู” — The Thai Phenomenon of Cosmic Bullying
For the uninitiated, “เกิดแต่กับกู” roughly translates to:
“This sh*t only happens to me.”
It’s the unique feeling of being the main character in a sitcom directed by Satan.
You wash your car? It rains.
You wear white shoes? Mud puddle.
Buy Bitcoin? It crashes.
Pull up at the lottery stand late? The person before you just bought the winning number.
It’s not just bad luck — it’s spiteful comedy from the universe.
🌀 The Science Behind It (Spoiler: There Isn’t Any)
Meteorologists, bless their rational little hearts, will tell you this is all coincidence.
They’ll pull out graphs, pressure charts, and Doppler radars as if those can explain why your freshly waxed Mazda is now a wet sadness emoji.
But we know better.
This is not weather.
This is targeted harassment.
Ever heard of the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle?
Well, this is the Hygiene Certainty Principle:
"As soon as something is clean, it becomes a magnet for filth."
The act of washing the car creates a spiritual vacuum — and nature must fill that void with disappointment.
💸 The Economics of Sadness
Let’s do the math:
- Car wash: ฿200
- Rain starts 15 minutes later: Free
- Emotional damage: Priceless
- Walking around telling your friends, “เพิ่งล้างรถเสร็จเลยฝนตกอ่ะ” like it’s a war story: Therapeutic but also schadenfreude bait.
And let’s not forget the guy at work who didn’t wash his car for three months, yet drives through flood zones like a goddamn amphibious assault vehicle — not a drop on him.
📸 Social Media Proof of the Curse
It’s almost guaranteed:
- Someone posts a pic of their shiny car.
- Caption: “Finally got it washed ✨”
- Comment section:
- “ฝนกำลังไปทางนั้นละ”
- “ทำบุญรถแล้วหรือยัง?”
- “RIP bro 😂”
Within 2 hours, their story updates:
Car now soaked, sad, and splotched with bird shit.
The Rain Gods don’t sleep. They scroll.
☠️ The Final Theory: The Simulation Is Real
This is no longer about rain.
This is simulation-level trolling.
The moment you care, the system notices.
It’s like GTA AI deciding to spawn 8 cops because you brushed a pedestrian.
Only here, you washed your car — and now the cosmic cloud system deploys Attack Weather Package v3.1.
Next time, try this:
- Don’t care.
- Don’t wash it.
- Let it become one with the dirt.
Maybe then, the Rain Gods will get bored and move on.
But if you dare... Dare to clean it again...
Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
เกิดแต่กับกู.
เกิดทุกที.
TL;DR:
You wash the car.
It rains.
You scream at the sky.
The universe laughs.
