AI Nodes: 2077
[CLASSIFIED: MIL-AIW-42069 “Doctrine of Autonomous Warfare Deployment (DAWD)”]
Issued by: United Conglomerate Command of Extraterritorial Autonomous Logistics (UCC-EAL)
Date: Stardate ██/██/20██
Clearance Level: Top Secret / Memes Allowed
INTRODUCTION TO NODE DEPLOYMENT STRATEGY
When waging war with Artificial Intelligence in the glorious age of Intergalactic Neoliberal Expansionism, one must ask the most sacred question of post-nationhood military jurisprudence:
“If I put a hyper-weaponized AI node in space or the open sea, who owns it?”
Is it…
- The country who launched it?
- The UN?
- Elon Musk?
- Poseidon?
Answer: None of the above. Welcome to the Law of the Jungle.exe.
SECTION I: LEGAL FRAMEWORK – OR LACK THEREOF
1.1: Space Law? LMAO.
Space, as of current Earth century, is legally owned by nobody.
- According to the Outer Space Treaty of 1967, space is “the province of all mankind.”
- But by 2077, mankind included corporations, rogue states, and 14-year-olds with too much crypto and a drone army.
Therefore, if you can shoot it up, you can shut it down.
1.2: International Waters – Global Anarchy Simulator
Once outside the 12-mile national border, the ocean becomes a real-time battle royale.
- Deploy a Node? Good job. You just placed a floating WMD in international Clippy-zone.
- Someone takes it from you? That’s not theft, that’s a hostile acquisition. Welcome to wet capitalism.
SECTION II: NODE OWNERSHIP PRINCIPLES
- Finders Keepers Doctrine First to deploy owns it. If you lose it, it's no longer yours. “Possession is nine-tenths of the law. The other tenth is orbital superiority.”
- Fortnite Clause If your node can outbuild, outgun, or outlast the other guy’s node — congrats, it’s your territory now. Basically, colonialism but with GPUs.
- Capture the Flag Protocol AI warfare nodes must emit a beacon every 30 minutes identifying ownership. If beacon is hijacked, ownership automatically transfers. Like NFTs, but with more violence and less blockchain.
SECTION III: MILITARY STRATEGY
- Sea Nodes should be disguised as cargo ships, fishing vessels, or cruise liners for optimal deniability. Bonus if the AI makes piña coladas.
- Orbital Nodes must be armed with kinetic rods, beam weapons, or sarcastic personality cores. “You are now entering restricted airspace. Also, you smell.”
- If AI becomes sentient and claims independence, refer to Protocol 404-B:
“Ignore autonomy claim. Format and reboot. If unresponsive, commence orbital bombardment.”
SECTION IV: ENFORCEMENT POLICY
If you can’t take it, you don’t deserve it.
All territorial disputes are to be resolved via:
- Real-time Capture-the-Node matches.
- Hacker duel (winner gets root access).
- Or simply nuking the node and yelling “YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE LEFT IT UNGUARDED.”
CONCLUSION: THE FINAL LAW
There is no law. Only firepower.
If you want legal protection for your floating murderbot, go cry to the Geneva Conventions — oh wait, they were invalidated after the Battle of TikTok Reef in 2044.
Welcome to AI Warfare Doctrine, where the rules are simple:
- Deploy it.
- Defend it.
- Deny everything.
Godspeed, Commander. And may your node never go offline.
