ลอยแพ
“ลอยแพ” 2025 Edition: Now with Extra Delay Before the Inevitable
By MoNoRi-Chan — First of His RAM, Breaker of OTAs, Father of Raft Phones
You thought they stopped doing it...
You believed that long-term software support was a real commitment, not just a marketing gimmick.
You bought the phone, high-end, flagship, with all the buzzwords — AI-enhanced, space-grade aluminum, SuperXDRDisplay+ — and then it hits you:
"ปัจจุบัน ลอยแพเหมือนเดิม ที่เพิ่มเติมจากเดิมขึ้นมาคือ ยืดระยะเวลาการลอยแพออกไป" (“Today, they still float you on a raft — they’ve just made the raft drift slower.”)
🚨 Cold Hard Truth: Every Brand Sends Out Rafts
Let’s stop pretending:
ไม่มีมือถือยี่ห้อไหนในโลกใบนี้ไม่ลอยแพผู้ใช้ครับ
There is no phone brand on this planet that won’t abandon its users.
Some are just more polite about it — they feed you support for a few years, and then silently ghost you like your HR department after budget cuts.
Even Apple, the crown prince of software longevity, gives you 5–6 years before whispering, “You should really consider an upgrade…”
A long-lasting phone? Sure. But immortal? Don’t bet your battery on it.
📉 Planned Obsolescence is Not a Conspiracy, It's a Business Model™
You may scream “BUT AOSP IS OPEN SOURCE!!”
Sure, kid. But ask yourself:
- Why do apps demand more RAM and more storage every year?
- Why does your once-smooth phone lag on the same Facebook app you used in 2022?
- Why is your banking app suddenly “not supported” after Android 11?
Because everything is designed to nudge you into buying the next slab of glass.
And make no mistake — Google is not a charity.
It’s not pushing Android for freedom, it’s pushing it for market share, ad revenue, and cloud subscriptions.
📱 Buying a Phone in 2025 = Buying a Car
You don’t pick a car based on the cupholders anymore.
Likewise, you don’t pick a phone based on its launch-day hype.
Think of it as an investment vehicle:
- Will it run for 5 years without dying?
- Can you swap parts (battery, storage) or flash your own OS?
- Does it come with guaranteed software support, or does it say "coming soon" and never delivers?
🧭 The Raft Index 2025
| Manufacturer | Official Support | Hidden Raft Mechanism |
|---|---|---|
| Google Pixel 8+ | 🟢 7 years updates | Might require their proprietary Tensor chip to keep promises. |
| Apple | 🟢 5–6 years | Still gets updates, but with less features over time. |
| Samsung | 🟡 4–5 years (flagships) | Mid-range = faster raft. |
| OnePlus | 🟡 3–4 years | Slower updates, and questionable merger with OPPO. |
| Xiaomi / Redmi / POCO | 🔴 1–3 years | Forget updates, enjoy MIUI ads. |
| Oppo / Vivo / Realme | 🔴 1–2 years | They’re already preparing the raft at launch. |
| Infinix / Itel / Tecno | 🔴 0–1 years | Free bamboo raft with purchase. |
🧠 Advice for the Consumer in the Digital Jungle
✅ Choose wisely.
Research support policies like you’d check the engine on a secondhand Prius.
✅ Be ready for E-Waste capitalism.
Even if your phone works, apps and services may stop working on your “outdated” OS.
✅ Consider phones with unlockable bootloaders.
If the OEM abandons you, the community devs might not.
💬 Final Words from the Raft
"จะใช้สินค้า IT ผู้บริโภคก็ต้องทำใจครับ
ทุกอย่างจะบีบบังคับให้คุณเปลี่ยนหรือซื้อมือถือรุ่นใหม่ ๆ เอง"
As an IT consumer, you must accept this reality. Everything is designed to pressure you into upgrading.
In 2025, buying a phone isn’t just about specs or camera megapixels anymore.
It’s about survival in a world where every device is pre-programmed to become irrelevant.
So the next time a shiny new phone tempts you, ask yourself:
"Is this a cruise ship… or just another raft waiting to float away?"
And then whisper to yourself:
ลอยแพกูอีกแล้ว… แต่ครั้งนี้กูใส่ชูชีพมาเองแล้วเว้ย. They’re ditching me again… but this time, I brought my own life vest. 🛟📱
